Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
by CKthePhantomess
Summary: //songfic to 'WYWSHA' from 'Phantom// It's been years since Kaiba's parents have died, but the scars his heart feels are still there. Listen to him weep at their graves.


CK: Hello.......welcome!!! I finally, FINALLY have found a songfic to write about Kaiba!!!! Go me!!!! Funny, considering I have songs galore for practically every other character.....anyhoo, if you love this, if you hate this, TELL ME. I had some problems writing this, since I'm not really a Kaiba fan-girl. ((I'm a bit more inclined toward Yugi-kun......)) But anyway, I thought that this was fairly good......If you want me to write more songfics, tell me, and I will. I know I'm definitely gonna do a music- video fic soon. But I'm blabbering, and you guys wan to get to the story.............  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, nor do I own the song 'Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again', written by Andrew Lloyd Webber. It's a solo song sung by Sarah Brightman and a bunch of other people on...well, a bunch of CDs.  
  
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Kaiba put on his trench-coat, and then walked quickly out his door. He kept the collar pulled up, so that, even if someone was out this early in the morning, they would be unable to recognize him. He had left a note so that, if for some reason Mokuba woke up this early, he would think that he was out just getting some fresh air.  
The cemetery was the same to Kaiba as it had been that his parents had been left there years ago. The graves seemed mindless and emotionless.....unless you knew whoever lay beneath the headstone. Otherwise, it was just a repetitive blur of gray, meaningless....... The fog of the early morning made the graveyard look more and more eerie, and without any sunlight, it seemed as though this place was something created out of a horror novel. But Kaiba wasn't there for that.........  
The tombstone placed above the corpses that were once Kaiba's parents was the same as ever, although some of the flowers surrounding it were beginning to wither.  
Kaiba placed some red and white roses around the grave after removing the flowers that had withered. Kaiba didn't want any flowers there that were just going to give up and die.....there was too much death in this place already...........  
Almost as soon as the flowers had been in the ground, the tears welled up in Kaiba's eyes as memories flooded back to him.......He remembered almost everything about his parents....like the roses......his dad would give his mom red roses for every occasion, while Kaiba's mom would always give him white roses to wear in his lapel whenever they went out somewhere special.....true, their ritual with the roses was silly, but that was just them. They lived life not really caring what other people thought, as long as they and everyone they cared about was happy. It was one of the reasons Kaiba had so much respect for them........It was one of the reasons he was one of Kaiba's only friends for a long time.........................  
//You were once my one companion//  
//You were all that mattered//  
Kaiba remembered his dad fondly.....he had always been a good man, always taking time out of every day to play with him and Mokuba. He had always been cheery and polite, whether to someone important or to someone he passed on the street. Every person was the same as the last in his eyes. Maybe that's why he gave most of his wealth away to people who needed it more........  
Kaiba respected his dad more than anyone else on earth....................................and for a long time after he had died, his face would haunt Kaiba's dreams, smiling a sad little grin that made Kaiba's heart ache.........  
  
//You were once a friend and father//  
//Then my world was shattered//  
  
Kaiba remembered Pegasus......and what Yugi had told him after Duelist Kingdom....about how Pegasus had done all of those terrible things to bring back his dead wife..........of course, the second he'd heard that, he'd dismissed Pegasus as crazy, and still as evil as he had always thought he was. But sometimes.........he wondered what he would have done in Pegasus's place....if all he had to do was send people to a realm of darkness to bring back both his parents..........whether he would've gone forward with it.  
Kaiba always told himself that he wouldn't. That he wasn't like Pegasus, that he wouldn't have gone ahead with it.....but his heart gave him a different answer, and he didn't like it at all........  
There were other times when he dreamed that he could do it.......he COULD bring them back, and all it would take was his wishing for it with all his heart. Many nights had been spent wishing for it to be true......and every time, Kaiba would wake up searching desperately for the faces of his parents that he had seen only moments ago. When he would realize that it was merely a dream, he would feel his heart sink slowly, and the rest of the day would be bleak for him.  
  
//Wishing you were somehow here again//  
//Wishing you were somehow near//  
//Sometimes it seemed, if I just dreamed//  
//Somehow you would be here//  
  
Kaiba remembered his mom, what she had been like. She was sterner than her husband, but underneath that exterior was a warm and compassionate person. She had always told him and Mokuba that they would both achieve great things one day, that they were too talented not too........she pushed them to be great, but always managed to know exactly how far the two of them could go, and she was always there for them, praising them for their accomplishments......not like him......the man they would later be forced to call 'father'............  
Kaiba remembered how, when Mokuba was much smaller than he was now, he was always frightened by anything remotely frightening. Whenever something or someone scared him, he would know to go straight to their mom, who would comfort him no matter how silly anyone may have thought he was.....  
He remembered one time specifically.........one that was so strange to look back on now..... Mokuba had been in the limo with his parents........he didn't remember where they were going....and they'd passed the wreckage of a car. It was one of those crashes where each car is barely recognizable, and the engines have caught fire, and the passenger areas of the car are so twisted and smashed that no human being could fit inside without divine aid.  
Of course, Mokuba had been scared out of his mind. He had been three then, and when he had asked his parents whether or not the people inside would be okay, there was very little confidence in their reassurances. Mokuba had sensed it when their mom pulled him in for a tight hug. "Don't you worry, sweetie.........even if the people in the car did die, then it'll be okay.........they'll go to Heaven and they'll be happy there no matter what......"  
  
Mokuba had sniffed quietly, but Kaiba had been able to see the gears working in his head. If that person could get in a car crash, then anybody could......and if that person could die........ Mokuba had asked another question. "Am I gonna die, Mama?"  
  
"......Not for a very long time, sweetie. You're only three years old, you're going to live for a long, long time more than that....."  
  
"And Seto?"  
  
"Seto's not that much older than you, sweetie......he's got almost as much as time as you before he dies....."  
  
"And you? What about you and Daddy?"  
  
Their mom had seemed genuinely touched by the question. She kissed Mokuba on the top of the head. "It'll be a long time before you have to worry about that sweetie.....when we die, you two will be grown-up with kids of your own............."  
  
//Wishing I could hear your voice again//  
//Knowing that I never would//  
//Dreaming of you won't help me to do//  
//All that you dreamed I could//  
  
Kaiba's tears flowed even more freely when he remembered those words. They had comforted Mokuba greatly, although he did have to sleep in their parents' room for several nights afterwards. But when you thought about it now...................................... It was just so cruelly ironic........................  
When he and Mokuba had been taken in by their step-dad.....things just got worse..........sometimes Kaiba wondered who was worse, him or Pegasus.......and he really couldn't tell. Those years that he and Mokuba had spent in his care had been the worst years of his life.......and he would never forget them. When he had died, it was as though a great curse had been lifted. But even now.........Kaiba still couldn't ignore what he thought was his ghost, lurking not too far away.  
Kaiba sometimes wished he didn't have the blood of his second 'father' on his hands. He knew that things were better for him and Mokuba because of it........but he still couldn't shake the knowledge that he was a murderer..........................................  
If only his parents hadn't died.......what did they think of him now?  
  
//Passing bells and sculptured angels//  
//Cold and monumental//  
//Seem for you the wrong companions//  
//You were warm and gentle//  
  
Kaiba had done everything he could think of to shake the guilt from, except turning himself in.........he couldn't, for Mokuba's sake. There were always risks that someone would hurt them, and they always increased whenever Kaiba left Mokuba to himself. After all, it hadn't been too long ago that Mokuba had been chained to the walls of Pegasus's dungeons.....and as horrible as Kaiba might feel about his murder, he knew that that guilt would never be able to compare to the churning misery he would feel if something happened to Mokuba again......he'd lost his parents, and he couldn't lose the rest of his family..............  
Kaiba's eyes were red at this point from crying. Whenever he went here with Mokuba, he refused to let his brother see his pain. He would stand off to the side a little and let his brother's emotions pour out, while he kept his own inside for no person to see. But every now and then he needed to come here by himself, before his feelings tore him apart. When no people were watching, he could cry.......when no people were watching, he could reveal how he felt...........  
  
//Too many years//  
//Fighting back tears//  
//Why can't the past just die//  
  
Kaiba finally began to realize how long he had been at the cemetery, and he knew that he would have to go home soon before Mokuba woke up for school. With one last glance at the cold marble, he stood up and began to walk away.... He reassured himself the way that he always did when he went to their tombs. "They're in Heaven now.....they're happy, they don't want you to keep missing them like this, they want you to be happy......."  
  
//Wishing you were somehow here again//  
//Knowing we must say goodbye//  
//Try to forgive//  
//Teach me to live//  
//Give me the strength to try//  
  
As he walked away, he tried to remove himself from all of the memories that had arisen in this place. When he returned home, he had to seem exactly the same as he was normally. He didn't want Mokuba to see his brother look broken and weak. He needed to believe that he was strong and secure and sure of everything. And tears didn't fit into any of that. Not until he returned to this place again.  
  
//No more memories//  
//No more silent tears//  
//No more gazing across the wasted years//  
  
The memories that Kaiba had were painful.......but he needed them. He needed to remember them. He needed to remember those two good people who once were the center of his life.  
Because losing the memories would be worse than the pain he felt now.  
  
//Help me say goodbye..................// 


End file.
